Best.Quote.Ever. "You two? NOT a Genius!" = Natalie

So i've had some interesting times lately that involve illness, not working, no vehicle and a tremendous amount of lethargy/energy/depression bursts. Fortunately, I have beautiful people in my life who do things like put me to bed in their houses, drive me around to medical apppointments and what not, feed me, and even occasionally entertain me when i'm up to it.

Today Heather and I were driving around, well, looking for a cowbell... which if needs explaining it's not worth explaining. We found ourselves inexplicably driving through Lynden for Starbucks. Starbucks in Lynden is creepy. Brady and Nat were on high energy alert in the car as we discovered the "Corn Maze". What the heck? A little 15 minute slow walk right??? WRONG!!! As soon as we were ready to head in the rain started pouring.. which should have been our sign. We stood around for a bit and the rain calmed. We headed in, Brady got wild with the corn weapons, We got lost, seriously lost. Brady kept exclaiming that we should "call somebody" to get us out. Eventually we found ourselves back at the entrance, blocked off by a gate, and although we were ready to be done we are far too proud of our mad skills to give up like that... so off we trekked again trying to find the exit. We thought we were following the provided map to some degree, but it was NOT working out. Eventually we decided to head back to the entrance again, assuming we could find it.

Which we did. As we approached Natalie runs to the gate blocking the path. She looks at Heather and I and says. "You two? NOT a genius!" (remember, Natalie is 3) To which I responded, "i'll show you genius" and walked around the gate through the corn which began our final escape.

It was a proud moment when she was regaling Josh with the whole story on the ride home, even if he was looking a little bomb struck being caught between Brady and Nat in the backseat.

I seriously need to start my Brady and Nat quote book.

I Heart the Beat Poets, especially this one

A Ritual To Read To Each Other



If you don't know the kind of person I am
and I don't know the kind of person you are
a pattern that others made may prevail in the world
and following the wrong god home we may miss our star.

For there is many a small betrayal in the mind,
a shrug that lets the fragile sequence break
sending with shouts the horrible errors of childhood
storming out to play through the broken dyke.

And as elephants parade holding each elephant's tail,
but if one wanders the circus won't find the park,
I call it cruel and maybe the root of all cruelty
to know what occurs but not recognize the fact.

And so I appeal to a voice, to something shadowy,
a remote important region in all who talk:
though we could fool each other, we should consider--
lest the parade of our mutual life get lost in the dark.

For it is important that awake people be awake,
or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep;
the signals we give--yes or no, or maybe--
should be clear: the darkness around us is deep.

William Stafford

Reflection

When Josh was little I would make him laugh by pushing his stroller ahead and running after it saying come back, come back. He always laughed because he always knew I was going to catch him.

Psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott explains a theory about how the parent can never abandon or retaliate against a child's acting out without disrupting the child's sense of being. We don't give up on our kids during the terrible two's or cause them physical harm when they're naughty if we're good parents.

So why is it different for adults? Every relationship needs solid foundation and trust, yet we tend to walk away from each other when things get hard or say unkind things when feelings get hurt.

It's a theory to live by. Do not Abandon or Retaliate. Period.

Memories

It's become a nostalgic week preparing for Josh's Grad party. I've been working on a picture board.. revisiting all the years that make up my still growing boy. Heather made the most amazing announcements.. i've been getting phone calls and emails specifically to give Kudos to the announcement. I asked people to send a favorite memory of Josh to put on a "Memory Wall" to post at the party... I love reading other people's special moments with Josh. I feel so lucky that he's had so many amazing people in his life. Thank you!

Derby Fever Part II

So, when I saw THIS...



I became nervous about being actually ready by Sep 13. I mean, I'm pretty much losing the month of June so that gives me only 2 months to get into shape. I was also EXTREMELY nervous about how well prepared one can get on rink rental skates as old as me. Heather and I have discovered that I don't actually fall flat on my face in skates, so it's a start.

I got in touch with a derby acquaintance and started getting all kinds of advice about what I need to be doing etc, she's even going to help get me ready.. but first and foremost was YOU GOTTA HAVE YOUR GOOD FITTING SKATES FORMED TO YOUR FEET Well, derby skates are actually super expensive... we're talking hundreds of dollars if you want a decent skate. This is before you buy all the other pads and helmets and other protective/derby gear. Derby seems to be a sport of some investment.

I had NO idea there was an actually derby store in Wallingford. Fastgirlskates.com. Derby acquaintance told me I MUST check them out, so I did and they fitted for me skates, cheapish ones even and once I had them on my feet, what could I do? I couldn't bear to leave 'em behind.

Now i'm wearing my skates around the house (you're supposed to wear them whenever you can and my carpet is shot beyond life anyway). Josh, with raised eyebrow says, "hmm, I used to get in trouble if I wore my blades in the house"

The Best Son In the World.. and Derby Fever

Josh was on his big trip to Washington DC for Mother's Day. He texted me on Saturday to tell me had purchased a gift for me. So today he arrived home safe and sound, all happy and sunburnt. Said gift was all set up with a letter.. and a note that said read letter before opening. (which is just plain cute) Talk about a tearjerker.. I want to type it in entirety just because i'm all gushed about it.. but he'd hate that. Basically it's this long I love you and think you're amazing letter. He talks about having him at 17 and how hard that must have been but that he always had everything he wanted and how successful I am and.. well you get the picture. And in case you're wondering, he's not currently wanting anything from me.. so i'm pretty sure it's all genuine. Who knew we'd get to this moment??

Along with my gushy mom pride, Bellingham Roller Betties posted tryout boot camp beginning September 13. I have the derby fever in a bad way. I'm super excited!

Night Court

Did you know there is Night court for small claims in Whatcom County? When JD passed away in July his landlord went nutso on the family and tried to lock up the house starting the day after. I'm not even joking. We had to barricade the driveway and haul ass to get his valuables out the day BEFORE his funeral. There was a lot of hysteria and 911 calls and the like. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how the whole thing compounded the stress.

Cut forward a few months and not only has she NOT paid JD's very sizable deposit and extra months rent, but she claimed damages owed so JD's widow (at all of 24 years old) had to file for a small claims hearing. Because I had been trying to deal with her back then, Heidi asked me to testify on her behalf. So I think i'll be in court for an hour tops. No way, the whole ordeal lasted hours and hours. I wanted to punch the crap out of her.. but I didn't have to because her lies were enough to win Heidi all the money back. He was a little mystified why the courtroom was so full.. you just don't mess with this family ay.

I also discovered that people file really ridiculous small claims.. who knew.